Warring couples should embrace “shared parenting” and nurture their children or Bermuda’s gangs will do the job instead.That was the warning from court social worker Elaine Charles, who works for the Department of Child and Family Services.Addressing a public forum on shared parenting legislation, Ms Charles said she has seen enough “toxic” divorces to know that the needs of the child do not always come first.She said if shared parenting, which gives equal rights to both mother and father, were brought into play, it would help alleviate the tensions associated with the court process.“In my experience, the divorce process is toxic to the process of shared parenting. All too often, legal counsel exacerbate the already fragile relationship of the parents,” said Ms Charles.She said shared parenting could help those who are “weary” of court battles and exorbitant legal fees return to focusing on the needs of the child.“If the parents don’t nurture their children, the gangs certainly will,” warned Ms Charles. She said she learned recently from one mother that gang recruiters are going after children joining middle schools.“I was appalled. These little things just strike home to me that we had better pay attention to our children, because there’s an organisation out there that can take our children at a vulnerable age,” she said.The forum was organised by the Bermuda Public Services Union Women’s Committee and was attended by around 35 members of the public.The other panellists were lawyer Michelle St Jane, Childwatch founder Edward Tavares and Minister of Youth, Families and Sports Glenn Blakeney.Mr Blakeney spearheaded a debate in the House of Assembly on shared parenting in April, for which he gave credit to family rights campaigner Mr Tavares.He admitted it was “not high on the agenda” before that.No timeline for implementing legislation has yet been given and Mr Blakeney did not commit one at the forum last night.He gave an overview of the pros and cons of shared parenting, however, drawing on information and statistics from other jurisdictions such as the US and Australia. He said that before legislation is implemented in Bermuda, he would like to see mandatory parenting classes for “at risk” parents such as those with unplanned teenage pregnancies.He also spoke of the benefits of mediation which he would like to see have “a more prescriptive basis in law”. Mr Blakeney believes this “would go a long way” towards addressing Bermuda’s problems stemming from relationship breakdowns.Ms St Jane said that in her experience, the family court process can turn parents into “volcanoes”, and shared parenting is “urgent and important” for Bermuda.She noted: “I have sat in family court and if you look like a volcano, you don’t look terribly safe to me as a parent”.In addition to shared parenting, she called for the family court to issue an annual report stating how many cases have been dealt with, how long they have taken, and how satisfied people are with the process.“The courts have to ease the climate of suspicion,” she said.Mr Tavares shared information from other countries in support of shared parenting, which he believes would make it easier for both parents to stay in a child’s life following relationship breakdown. Such legislation is already in place in Australia, France, Denmark, Belgium and a number of US states, and ChildWatch has been pressing the Bermuda Government to move forward with it for several years.Useful websites: www.childwatch.bm, www.bpsu.bm.