I think I can speak for most: it is always lovely having family come for a visit to the island, whether it be a few days, a week, or even a few weeks. Spending time with family that you don't see all that often is lovely and depending on the family member, it can also be a reminder as to why you don't see them that often.

As I write this article, my husband and I have our 20-year-old nephew and his two friends staying with us for the week. They are halfway through the trip, and in all honesty, they have been pretty good and respectful.

But it is Friday night as I write this, and their uncle (my husband) and his friend have taken them out for a “good night”. That said, I have the bacon thawing from the freezer, and I anticipate a greasy breakfast might be in order tomorrow.

I was certainly apprehensive for this visit. Firstly, as a childless couple, we didn't know whether we should set boundaries or not. Secondly, our dog can be tricky with strangers (though she is doing great with them). Lastly, we have a two-bedroom home, meaning three 20-year-olds are staying in the same room with one bed and two blow-up mattresses which is less than ideal.

My brother-in-law said to us before they came: “They are looking to have fun, and you don't need to worry about them, they will figure it out.” That told me they are coming to stay with us but not actually spend that much time with us. I got it. My husband is still struggling.

What is interesting: when planning for their stay with us, we wanted to make sure we provided a list of things they could do on the island and also made sure they had food in the house that they would like. But based on the amount we spent, it felt like going from providing guesthouse accommodation to an all-inclusive stay which leads me to question: what is the norm financially when people come and stay with you?

Many years ago I believed that if family chose Bermuda as a holiday destination and spent money to come see me, I should cover most of their trip while they were on the island.

But that mindset changed over time when I started travelling to visit family, only to realise that I was still being generous because I was on holiday and noticed there was not a whole lot of argument from the family when I was paying for things. Over time it has felt one-sided, and with that, I am far less generous than I use to be.

Interestingly, I have friends that go from one extreme to the next. Some are like, “You can stay with us, but be your own tour guide”, taking the guesthouse approach, whilst others play the roles of hotelier, taxi, chef, tour guide, and personal entertainment team.

Let’s face it, treating your family to special experiences during their visit - a lovely dinner with a water view, renting a boat, or a curated spa day - offers profound pros that elevate ordinary gatherings into unforgettable highlights.

This generosity demonstrates care through action, making both close family and distant relatives feel truly welcomed. Moreover, in a world of fragmented families, such treats nurture unity, reducing isolation and boosting mental health for all.

Financially savvy planners even turn it into an investment: modest splurges on experiences yield dividends in strengthened support networks during life's ups and downs.

On the other side of the coin, overindulging can erode both finances and harmony if unchecked. Budget blowouts are the biggest pitfall those “just one more” lunches tally up fast, especially where a single meal for four rivals a week's groceries.

Expectations skyrocket too: what starts as a special welcome can turn into an expectation when the same guests return. Furthermore, logistical headaches compound the strain coordinating group activities with picky eaters, mobility needs, or clashing schedules often leads to frayed tempers and unmet promises.

Emotionally, the host bears the brunt, masking fatigue behind smiles while resenting the unspoken obligation to perform, aka host fatigue. It can also breed unhealthy dynamics, such as enabling spendthrift relatives who benefit from the subsidised tourism model you have created through your generosity.

Or worse, excessive generosity may attract family moochers looking for that all-inclusive holiday they have heard about from other family members.

The reality is that striking a balance preserves the family. Setting clear expectations upfront removes any misunderstanding and resentment.

From my perspective, covering a meal or two is a nice gesture. Taking them around the island to show them some highlights is also a lovely thing to do. Mixing that with free activities like spending the day at the beach is a great way to bond without bankrolling the day.

But also, remember: they are on holiday, and they will likely want to do things on their own, which is half the fun, trying to figure out whether to rent a Twizy, or how to navigate the bus system, and then returning to the house later in the day to tell you about their adventures builds memories for them on their dollar, opposed to yours.

At the end of the day, it is tricky with guests to pay or not to pay, may always be the question, but one thing is certain: being clear from the beginning will eliminate any resentment on both sides.

• Carla Seely is the chief operating officer at Freisenbruch Insurance Services Limited and has 26 years of experience in international financial services, wealth management, and insurance. During her career, she has obtained several investment licences through the Canadian Securities Institute. She holds the ACSI qualification through the Chartered Institute for Securities and Investments (UK), the Qualified Associate Financial Planner (QAFP) designation through FP Canada, and the Associate in Insurance (AINS) designation through The Institutes. She also completed a Master's Degree in Business and Management through the University of Essex

• For further inquiries or suggested topics, e-mail: justaskcarla@outlook.com