Last week I was at Bulls Head working out by myself when a lady said something that made me stop and think. “You’re always smiling.” I laughed because she’s right. I am. I’ve always been a naturally happy person. I joke around, I enjoy people, and apparently I have what some call a “resting smile face”. Most days, that’s genuinely who I am.

But what people don’t always see is that a smile and a struggle can exist at the same time. Last week wasn’t an amazing week for me.

I lost a client without any notice. If you’re not a trainer, it may not sound like a big deal, but it can hit harder than people realise. It’s not just financial. The first thought is often: “What did I do wrong?”

You replay conversations. You think about sessions. You wonder if you missed something, especially after training someone for a long time.

Most of the time, though, it has nothing to do with us. People’s lives change. Priorities shift. Circumstances happen. But we’re human, and we still question ourselves.

At the same time, I’m working my way towards two years without my mother.

I still remember the phone call from my brother just after midnight on December 6. The first words out of his mouth were: “Ma died.” Life has moments that change everything — this was one of them.

People often assume grief has an expiration date. It doesn’t. It changes. You learn to carry it better. You learn to laugh again. But there are still moments that catch you off guard and remind you how deeply you loved.

At the same time, life has also given me reasons to smile.

Recently, I celebrated five years being brain tumour free. There was a time when I didn’t know what my future would look like, so reaching that milestone filled me with gratitude. It reminded me just how precious life is and how much can change when you simply keep going.

Sometimes the smile people see isn’t me hiding pain. Sometimes it’s genuine joy. Sometimes it’s relief. Sometimes it’s gratitude for making it through things I once thought I couldn’t.

The truth is that life is rarely all good or all bad. Most of us are carrying both at the same time. We can be grieving someone we’ve lost, while celebrating a milestone we’ve reached. We can be disappointed in one area of life while feeling incredibly blessed in another.

I actually wrote this article over the course of a week, and as I kept coming back to it, life kept adding reminders of that truth.

I lost a client. Then I gained a client because someone referred me. I reflected on losing my mom. Then I celebrated five years of being brain tumour free.

It was as if life was saying: “Don’t focus only on what you’ve lost. Remember what you’ve gained too.”

That’s not ignoring the hard things. It’s choosing not to let them have the final word.

Everyone has something they’re carrying. Family issues. Financial worries. Health struggles. Disappointments that nobody else sees.

Yet somehow, we keep showing up. We go to work. We care for our families. We encourage others. And yes, sometimes we smile.

Not because everything is perfect. Not because nothing hurts. But because we’ve learnt that joy and hardship can coexist.

So if you see me smiling, know that it’s real. It’s not because life has been easy. It’s because life has been hard, beautiful, heartbreaking, joyful, and precious all at once. And despite it all, I still believe it’s worth smiling about.

Keep Smiling & B-Active For Life!

• Betty Doyling is a certified fitness trainer and figure competitor with more than a decade of experience. Look for B. ActiveForLife on Facebook