An open letter to HSBC's Mr. Butterfield

January 25, 2007

<$z9.8>THIS is an open letter to HSBC CEO Mr. Philip Buttefield who recently told The Royal Gazette he wanted thank bank clients for "bearing with" HSBC as it continues to experience "teething problems" with its new internal operating systems. Well, in the self-same spirit, I am writing to thank you, Mr. Butterfield, for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.By my calculations, about three seconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my pension cheque, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only 18 years).

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to HSBC's telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at HSBC cheque addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. I will be sending you an Application/Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1. To make an appointment to see me.

2. To query a missing payment.

3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

7. To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.)

8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.

9. To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following HSBC's example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year>YOUR HUMBLE CLIENT

Warwick

Kate burnt twice as brigB>

January 22, 2007

THANK you for your reports "A Father's Journey of Discovery" and "Remembering Kate Huntington" (Mid-Ocean News, January 19)!!! I worked with Kate at Bermuda Air Care Ltd. before she left for India.I came to love Kate as a friend, she inspired me so. We used to visit the Bermuda Musical & Dramatic Society to socialise and laugh, cry, simply enjoy each other's company. When I heard of her fatal accident in India, it torn at my heart and still does. I still have the post card she sent from India and her memory to cherish. Thank you again for keeping KATE ALI

GLENDA COPELAND

South Carolin>

January 24, 2007

SOMEONE once said "the candle that burns twice as bright only burns half as long". This was certainly true of Kate Huntington (pictured), killed in a traffic accident in India almost seven years ago but who packed more into her 28-years than most of will given a lifespan three times that long! I went to school with Kate for many years. Just trying to keep up with her was an exhausting exercise! She had so many passions, so many interests, and pursued them all with energy and determination and boundless vitality. Although I hadn't seen her for a number of years at the time she died, I was shocked to hear of her death and saddened to think that this young woman with so very much to offer had been taken from us.So I was glad to read in last w's Mid-Ocean News that not only has her father commemorated Kate's life in his new book Nubra Valley Odyssey but that the Bermuda Musical & Dramatic Society is presenting bursaries to Bermudian students of the performing arts in Kate's name. There could be no better tributes to this vital and vigorous woman! The candle might have been extinguished but the bright light Kate generated among those who knew her will continue to shine for many tome. TIGE><\p>BRIGHT

City of Hamilton