Here's a spot of news for you. A British doctor has concluded that the inability to handle your money has nothing to do with you. You cannot, apparently be held responsible. You are suffering from a medical complaint, like a broken leg, called 'Money Sickness Syndrome'.

A reader of this column wrote that, because of my sarcastic style, he could often not tell when I was being serious. This is apparently serious. Dr. Roger Henderson, the author of 'Stress Beaters: 100 Proven Ways to Manage Stress', has issued a report on what he calls "Money Sickness Syndrome".

Here, in its entirety, is the executive summary of the report:

More than 45 percent of the population worry (sic) about their finances.

One in five people say they regularly avoid checking their bank balance because they are scared to find out how much money they have.

Money Sickness Syndrome refers to the symptoms of stress arising from the anxiety generated by feelings of poor understanding or control of personal finances.

Money Sickness Syndrome symptoms include: palpitations; shortness of breath and headaches; sweaty palms, cold hands and skin rashes; irritability and mood swings.

Money Sickness Syndrome affects people of all ages and incomes and can equally affect 'risk-takers' and 'play-safers'.

The three main ways to deal with Money Sickness Syndrome are the Three As: avoiding financial discomfort; altering your level of financial risk; and acceptance of financial worry.

Money Sickness Syndrome danger signs include: being able to make only the minimum payment on a credit card bill; paying bills with money earmarked for something else; having less than three months of income saved as an emergency fund; and using savings to pay everyday bills.

The role of financial education is of ever-increasing importance: long-term saving is an alien concept to two-thirds of UK adults."

And there you have it. I shall respond, first, with some sarcastic comments, and then move to more restrained financial advice. That should give you a pretty clear understanding of my agenda.

I have to start by saying that I have "palpitations; shortness of breath and headaches; sweaty palms, cold hands and skin rashes; irritability and mood swings", especially the last two, and I am not worried about reading my bank statement. The doctor ? who has the gall to call himself Roger ? is talking bunk.

Britain has become a nanny state. By that is meant a country governed by politicians who believe that ordinary folk are less well-qualified to make decisions about their own lives than is the Government. The extension of this logic is that no one can be held accountable for their actions, other than the government. In Britain, the argument is extended to exempt the government from its own accountability.

We are all victims, this argument runs. We are hapless souls, living in fear and stupidity, and we need all the help we can get. We all suffer from an ever-increasing litany of ailments that make us unable to do anything right. It is better, therefore, that we stay home and government send us a cheque each week.

For this reason, Britain has become the national equivalent of New Orleans, the day after Katrina left town ? an economic catastrophe. Unlike New Orleans, the catastrophe that has destroyed Britain is man-made. Unlike Finland, say, where the government takes 70 percent off the top of everyone's pay, and provides first-class services that enhance people's lives, the British Government takes an estimated 60 cents of every dollar anyone receives, and in return offers only waste and incompetence.

This behaviour is justified by the culture of "political correctness". PC, as everyone knows, is the extension of good ideas to ridiculous extremes that handicap people from achieving their possibilities, that mollycoddle the unwilling just as much as the incapable, and provide every citizen with a built-in excuse for every wrong step: "It was me syndrome wot made me do it."

I do not buy this hogwash. In fact, I detest and oppose it in all its guises. One of its guises, in Bermuda, is blaming people of another race. I reject that just as vehemently, whichever side of the divide it comes from.

Here it is: we are all subject to the forces of nature. Quo fata ferunt, matey. We are victims of arrogant government (wherever we live, and whatever the government). We are victims of random acts of unkindness by God (or his agents), strangers and the people we call friends. We are, without a doubt, all victims of circumstance.

But...

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