At the age of 12, Peter (not his real name) started smoking marijuana on weekends and after school. As time passed, he smoked it before, during and after school. And by the time he was 14, Peter found himself in Junior Training School on Paget Island, a correctional facility for young men. "I was smoking a lot of pot, drinking beers and getting into trouble,'' said the 41-year old. "I stole bikes and bike parts, whatever -- I didn't care.'' Peter spent 16 months in junior training school. And he was only out for seven months before getting into trouble again. "One of things I got in trouble for is something I'll never forget,'' he said. "I used to go to football games and while the football players were out on the field, I would go into their lockers and search their pant pockets. "I would just steal money or things to support my habit,'' he said. Before he knew it, Peter was placed in the senior training school in St. George's for 16 months. But it didn't stop him from smoking and drinking. "Someone would bring me drugs during visits or they'd throw it over the wall -- it was easy to get drugs and alcohol in both facilities,'' he said. Shortly after his release from the senior training school, Peter got a job at the Hamilton Princess Hotel. He started snorting cocaine around the same time. "It was a real party atmosphere in the 70's and after work, I'd go to the clubs. Peter left his job at the hotel and moved to Masters, where he worked as a salesman. In the evenings, he was a bar waiter at the 40 Thieves Club. He snorted a lot of cocaine. "I had two jobs and coke was an upper,'' he said. "It would wake me up when I needed a boost. I was also using other drugs by now like acid and mandrax -- a speed-like upper.'' Peter worked from nine a.m. to five p.m., and from eight or nine p.m. to three a.m. "Then I'd party until four, five or six in the morning,'' he said.

Peter faces on-going battle with drugs 40 Thieves Club, which tapered down his drug habit. "I just smoked herb and I didn't snort as much coke,'' he said. Things started to look better. Peter went to Elbow Beach and worked diligently as a cocktail and food waiter. He traveled to the United States and other destinations frequently. His life seemed to be getting back on track. In 1979 Peter got married. It didn't work out, however, and he turned to drugs. He even started selling drugs. "By then, I didn't even bother with pot -- I just snorted coke and drank liquor,'' he said. Finally Peter was sent to prison for stealing. He got out and was sent back to prison for driving while disqualified. "I would go to jail for six to nine months at a time. And I was in and out three or four times,'' he said. But in 1987 when Peter left Casemates, he caught the bus and went straight to Addiction Services. He knew that he needed help. Peter was straight for a while and then he relapsed. By 1989, he was back in jail. Later he went back to Addiction Services and stayed clean for eight months. He was then asked if he wanted to go to a treatment centre in Montreal called Portage. Said Peter: "My self-esteem was coming back and I had been clean for the longest time since I was 14. I knew Portage dealt a hard programme but I looked at it as a challenge. "I wanted to find out why I got high. I used to think it was just because it felt good but I knew by then there was more to it,'' he said. Peter was at Portage for five months. He felt protected in a therapeutic community. "I learned to cry and get in touch with all the stuff I had buried in me since I was young,'' said Peter. "I learned that I was full of hurt and pain, consequently medicating myself with drugs. But I learned how to identify with my feelings. Portage gave me that -- it was one of the best facilities I ever went to,'' he said. "I make no excuses for my actions,'' he added. "But when I was 13, my father went out on a boat and never came back. "It was a trauma in my life that I never dealt with. And after going to all of these treatment facilities, I realised that I used drugs to medicate myself to bury the pain. I used drugs so I wouldn't think about things,'' he said. When Peter returned to the island in 1991, he went to Reach Out to satisfy his need to be in a structured environment. There he talked about his experiences abroad. But he began to feel that he was being controlled by other people and he left the programme. Once again, Peter fell.

"I just did one hit of cocaine and before long, I was an addict again. I started to get into trouble again. I went to prison again.'' Last year, he went to His House, a residential ministry for male addicts and alcoholics. He went clean for months. But then he became disruptive to the House and left.

"I thought the spiritual part of the programme was great -- it helped me,'' said Peter. "But the thing is -- I always do well in the treatment centre -- it's when I get out that I have a problem. "All of the treatment centres that I went to helped me in some way. "But what is really needed in Bermuda is an after-care and follow-up programme with halfway houses,'' he said. "We need in-house after-care facilities.'' Peter faces his drug addiction problem every day. In the past year, he has worked odd jobs and gone on and off of cocaine and alcohol. It is indeed an on-going battle. Living at the Salvation Army, he finds himself in the same predicament as he was in two years ago. "I get angry and I wonder when is this all going to end,'' he said. "But I'm trying every day. And the one thing I've learned is to be honest. You get more for being honest than being dishonest.'' He added: "I snorted cocaine just last week.'' PHOTO `POT' AND `PAPERS' -- This photograph shows everything one needs to roll a marijuana cigarette. Peter's drug habit started by smoking drugs on the weekends and after school.

LOST IN SMOKE -- This man is pictured smoking a cannabis `joint'.

Tetrahydrocannabinol, which disorganises and confuses the natural functioning of the central nervous system, is the major ingredient found in `pot'.

COCAINE ADDICTION -- Peter smoked `pot' for years before he turned to the harder drugs. Before he knew it, he was addicted to crack/cocaine.