Dear Annie: On the surface, life is good. My husband’s business is thriving, and we have two beautiful children. But inside, I am miserable. Our marriage is dying.

My husband is unable to compromise. Whenever we come to a major life decision, he gets his way. I wanted to live in New England, and he wanted to live in California. We live in California. I wanted to home-school the children, and he wanted them to go to public school. They go to public school. Most recently, I wanted a third child, and he didn’t. He got a vasectomy without my knowledge or consent. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I am so angry, it is hard for me to continue in this marriage.

I am in agony. My parents divorced when I was young, and I don’t want my children to go through that same pain, but I’m afraid if I stay with this man, I will never have control over my own life.

We are very distant with each other. We don’t touch and have not been intimate for months. We have been to three different marriage counsellors without success. The last one fired us because she was frustrated with our lack of progress. What should I do? — Still Married for the s

Dear Still Married: Good marriages are partnerships, and yours is not. If counselling has not shown your husband the importance of giving you a voice in major family decisions, please see a counsellor on your own, so you can decide what steps to take for yourself and your children.

Dear Annie: I need your expert advice. I have a big family, including brothers and sisters who do not get along with each other, although they do get along with me.

My siblings live in different states. When my son married last year, I invited all of them to the wedding. I hoped they would be civil to one another and respect my wishes not to make any trouble at the wedding, but there was a serious argument between them, and I was terribly upset with their behaviour.

Another of my sons is getting married next year, and I’m considering not inviting my siblings to the wedding. I don’t want to hurt their feelings — they were very close to my son when he was young — but I don’t want another argument. I am thinking of enclosing a note in the invitation that says, “You are invited to the wedding, but if you cannot promise to be civil, you are not welcome.” — No Name ase

Dear No Name: We’d give your siblings one more chance to behave like adults. Please don’t put that note in the invitation, but feel free to give them the same information by phone or e-mail. Explain, nicely, that you were shocked by their disruptive argument at the previous wedding, and you hope they love your son enough to control themselves and not ruin his wedding day. Do not seat them near each other, and, if possible, assign friends or spouses to keep the siblings separated. If they repeat their immature behaviour, do not invite them to any future events.

Dear Annie: You often mention grief counselling. I am a hospice social worker and have worked for several hospices in different parts of the country. All accredited hospices are registered with the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organisation (nhpco.org), which provides information about hospices in any state.

All hospices have a bereavement programme open to anyone who needs it. Some have groups, individual counselling and events in which the community is welcome to participate. Hospice understands that death is a family and community loss. Please help get that word out. — Mary Sue Rector, Little Wind Hospice, Riverton, Wing.Dear Mary Sue Rector: Thanks for giving us the opportunity to remind our readers about Hospice and the excellent work you do.