it's a disgrace we don't have preferred lies. There's 600,000 pounds to play for and it's time we had a decent course. The ball has so much mud on it, it goes sideways.'' -- Former world number one Ian Woosnam, competing at the German Masters in Stuttgart.

"What he said didn't make cricket sense. They were going to mop right through us after having us four for six. It was a survival situation, not a normal situation.'' -- Social club player/coach Lee Raynor blasting St. George's skipper Wendell Smith for comments regarding his batting three hours for only 30 runs.

"After coming back after this five-year lay-off I was shocked at the standard of the cricket. Everybody just seemed to be going through the motions.'' -- more Raynor.

"We're going to have our SWAT team there. We're coming out with Uzis, M-16s, automatic rifles and Gattling guns.'' -- Miami Dolphins' safety Louis Oliver speaking before his side's game against Buffalo.

"I hope you're paying for that for two days!'' -- Brad Rex, triathlete, joking with Greg Hopkins after being beaten into second by the policeman during the Bermuda International Triathlon.

"It aggrieves us that they have put money in front of cricket. I had hoped we had worked out a deal only to come home and find out everything we talked about had been disregarded.'' -- BCBC president Ed Bailey disappointed at apparent greed by Pakistan causing plans to have them tour Bermuda fall through.

"I told 'em. I'll get you to the play-offs. Now they've got to get me through them and I'll see we win the World Series.'' -- Pittsburgh Pirates slugger Barry Bonds, who has been a dismal failure with the bat every time his team has managed to reach the National League play-offs.

"People have labelled us chokers. Hey we stayed focussed and won games.'' -- Toronto Blue Jays' relief pitcher Tom Henke.