Yes, we realise that's why they're pros, and indeed they do have all the latest equipment, personal trainers, coaches, sponsors, etc., but the thing is, even their warm-up routines would be more than enough to blow most off the court.

*** WHATEVER you do as a journalist, don't try to get a comment from a chair umpire; they are like forbidden fruit.

As a Royal Gazette reporter found out first hand they are definitely off limits, whether it is tennis or any other subject you may wish them to speak on.

An attempt made at interviewing one such game official regarding his status as a minority -- black man -- in what has long been perceived as predominantly a white and upper class sport was unilaterally rebuffed under advisement by a visiting ATP official because of the possibility of comments being taken out of context.

Not to come away empty handed, the reporter then turned to the official for his view on the proliferation of minorities in the game.

After a long pause he, too, refused comment, saying that he would have to get confirmation from a superior as to whether he could even speak on the subject.

Talk about red tape! *** NO mere 'flu bug can keep Joan Vorbaum from her task this week.

Wednesday saw the female umpire from San Jose, California forced to step down from the chair after Nicolas Lapentti complained about her constant coughing during his serve in the midst of the a match against Scott Draper.

Yet, last night Vorbaum, although not completely recovered, was back in the mix on centre court, this time armed with a packet of Halls. Poor Draper probably wished she'd brought them the first time, as with Vorbaum gone the Ecuadorean proceeded to vanquish the fourth seed in straight sets.