When was the last time you had a proper conversation with yourself?

Not the one where you're trying to remember whether you took the chicken out of the freezer, what time the children need collecting, or how on earth it’s already Thursday when you could have sworn yesterday was Monday.

I mean a proper conversation.

The kind where you ask yourself a question and actually take the time to answer it. Preferably without your phone in your hand or mentally preparing your grocery list at the same time.

On Monday, I offered Infused: Restore. Recharge, a wholesome wellness opportunity at Hindssight Fitness & Wellness. The experience included exercise (of course), a conversation about nutrition, journalling and yoga.

While each element had its own purpose, the overall intention was to encourage participants to think a little more deliberately about their own wellness.

Of course, being a fitness instructor, I couldn't very well invite everyone to the gym and not make them work a little. That would be terribly off-brand.

However, the exercise was only part of the experience.

What I really wanted was for people to leave having thought about something they perhaps hadn't given much attention to lately. Their habits, their expectations, their relationship with exercise, food, rest, or even themselves.

One of the phrases I used throughout the workshop was, “Some conversations are worth having with yourself”.

I’ve been thinking about that quite a bit since.

We're pretty good at identifying what other people need to do. We can tell our friends when they're overworking themselves, encourage someone to take better care of their health or recognise when a person needs to make a change.

Funny how that same level of observation doesn't always extend to ourselves.

We know when we're tired, but continue filling our schedules. We complain about not having enough time but rarely examine how we're spending it. We set goals, abandon them and then convince ourselves that perhaps we just aren't disciplined enough.

Sometimes we need to question the decisions we're making rather than immediately questioning our ability to succeed.

Take exercise, for example.

Someone might tell me they've been trying to become more consistent with working out for years. They start enthusiastically, manage a few weeks, miss a couple of sessions and eventually stop altogether.

The usual explanation is that they lack motivation.

But what if motivation isn't actually the problem?

What if the schedule they've created doesn't realistically fit their life? What if they've chosen an activity they don't particularly enjoy? What if their expectations are so unreasonable that anything short of perfection feels like failure?

Those are very different conversations and they lead to very different solutions.

The same applies to nutrition.

We can spend years jumping between diets, removing foods, counting calories and promising ourselves that Monday will be the day we finally get serious.

Meanwhile, we haven't stopped to ask why our current eating habits exist in the first place.

Are we genuinely hungry? Are we eating out of convenience? Have we organised our days in a way that makes preparing meals difficult? Are we trying to follow a plan that we already know we won't maintain?

Being intentional means paying attention to those answers and making decisions accordingly.

It doesn't mean every decision will be perfect.

I certainly don't get everything right. Between running a business, raising three children, home schooling, teaching classes and trying to maintain some resemblance of a personal life, there are days when I'm simply trying to get through everything that needs doing.

I can be so focused on what comes next that I forget to acknowledge what's happening right now.

I imagine I'm not alone in that.

It's easy to become occupied with the responsibilities of life and forget that we're also supposed to be participating in it, not simply managing it.

One of the things I appreciated about Monday was the opportunity to create space for reflection. Not everyone will leave an experience like that with some enormous revelation. In fact, I don't think they need to.

Perhaps someone recognised that they haven't been giving themselves enough rest. Someone else might have realised that their approach to exercise needs adjusting. Another person may simply have enjoyed having a few hours where nobody needed anything from them.

All worthwhile, in my opinion.

I also think we need to become more comfortable with conversations that don't necessarily produce the answers we were hoping for.

You might discover that the goal you've been pursuing isn't particularly important to you any more. Perhaps something you've been blaming on circumstances is actually within your control. You may even realise that you've been doing better than you've been giving yourself credit for.

That last conversation is worth having too.

As a trainer, I'm always encouraging people to assess their progress. We measure strength, cardiovascular endurance, body composition and other physical markers because they give us useful information.

But I wonder how often we apply that same approach to the rest of our lives.

We wouldn't expect someone to follow the exact same training programme indefinitely without considering whether it's still effective. Yet we sometimes continue with the same habits, commitments and expectations for years without examining whether they still serve us.

Maybe it's time for a reassessment.

Not necessarily of your weight, your measurements or how quickly you can run a mile.

Perhaps of your priorities.

What are you giving your time to? What would you genuinely like to improve? What have you been avoiding? Are your everyday decisions helping you move towards the life you say you want?

You don't need a workshop, a new journal or an elaborate morning routine to have these conversations. You can have one while walking, driving home, sitting quietly with your coffee or enjoying a few minutes before the household wakes up.

You just need to be willing to listen to your own answers.

Then, of course, comes the part where you actually do something with them.

That's where intentionality becomes more than a nice word.

Some conversations are worth having with yourself. Just make sure you're paying attention when you answer.

Happy Wednesday fitfam! Be intentional and unapologetic about your entire fitness and wellness journey. Stay true to yourself and always be honest with your efforts.

• Dre Hinds is a personal trainer, aerobic and yoga instructor and fitness “addict” with more than 20 years’ experience. She specialises in nutrition, weight and sprint training, operating out of HindsSight Fitness and Wellness at the Berkeley Cultural Centre. Contact her at absbydre@gmail.com or on 599-6683. Find her on Facebook, X and Instagram under @Absbydre