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The Talker, The Bag Rustler and The Baby Bringer

When you get to my age, there are few things that we really look forward to as much as going to the movies. Ah! The Silver Screen. I miss the days when going to the cinema was considered to be a fun-filled evening when people used to get dressed up. The lady selling you the ticket said 'Good Evening' and called me 'Sir'. I miss being ushered to my seat by a gentleman holding a flashlight, pointing to my seat and tipping his hat and saying 'I hope you enjoy the show Sir '.

You could lose yourself for a couple of hours and see Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds in 'Singing in Rain'. The greats like Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson and James Dean in 'Giant' and the beauties of the day like Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe and Grace Kelly. Sophia Loren. Jingas, Now that was a woman!

Okay, I understand that times have changed and that there's a new generation of actors, and no longer do we get escorted to our seats because of cutbacks. That's fine, but let me tell you what really ticks me off ...

Despite the high price of movie tickets these days (and the overpriced popcorn which I ALWAYS buy), I'll never stop going to the movies. It's really not the ticket prices that annoy me. Nothing gets me angrier than getting to the theatre early to pick my seat and enjoy a great movie, only to have it ruined by inconsiderate people ...

At the top of the list is

“The Talker “.

It amazes me how so many people don't have the common courtesy or enough brains to understand that maybe other people are not interested on how your day went. Did it not occur to your pea- brain head that the other paying customers are trying to listen to the movie? How on earth can it be okay for someone to talk to the person sitting next to you while everyone else is trying to listen to the movie? And then when someone asks you to be quiet, you respond by sucking your teeth sucking and speaking even louder.

Oh and get this, their cell phone rings and they answer it! You know you're going to have trouble when the conversation starts 'Hey, I'm at the movies dude' then there's a pause followed by 'No, no, no, that's cool man I've seen it before. What's up'?

Well, I haven't seen it yet you moron!

Number two on my list is

“The Bag Rustler”.

Like I said before, I always buy my popcorn because it's pretty much noiseless consumption as you're not fighting to get into the bag, which of course makes noise every time you put your hand in it to feed that trap door in your face. I'm not saying don't eat in the cinema, but think ahead and bring a plastic baggie, dump your snacks in there and presto, no more noise.

Next on my list is

“The Latecomer “.

It really irks me when people enter the theatre when the previews are on, and even more when the movie has started! Everyone has to stand up out of their seat to let this person get to their seat. I've lost count the amount of times I've had my foot trodden on as they try to squeeze between the rows. Then when they finally get to their seat, there is a two minute conversation on why they can't see the screen 'cause of that guy's big-head in front of them and they end up moving again.

... and last but no where near the least is

“The Baby Bringer” ...

Now I got a lot of grief from some of the readers about my idea of leaving children outside of supermarkets, but look people, before you go ahead and yell and scream that “parents deserve a night out too”, please let me explain. I do not find it appropriate for parents to bring a baby/young child to inappropriate films filled with violence and bad language, etc. I get that your child doesn't understand what's going on, but the loud bang of a truck bomb going off is clearly going to frighten the child and make it cry. I mean, it scares the hell out of me!

Please think about the other people at the film who do not want to spend two hours listening to your baby crying. If you can't get a sitter, then go and double park on Queen Street and pick out a DVD (while getting something from KFC at the same time ...) and watch it at home and allow me my rights as a paying customer to watch the silver screen in peace and quiet.

* You can now follow Grumpy Old Man on Twitter.

Got something to get off your chest? E-mail me

Grumpy's Mail Box

Hey grumpy old man. By the way, I love your face. I am one of those annoying people who counts out the coins in my purse to give the exact amount. I like that about me. Sometimes I go over budget so the manager has to be called in to remove the overspend from my bill. I am conscious of the impatience of the people behind me and I turn around and tell them I am grateful for their patience. Your turn has not come Mr Grump to have your grumpiness melt from the gratitude from another. It will come. In the meantime have a little patience. Oh, and who is not a little pokey when there is a bit of juicy gossip to be had, especially when you have to wait in line, and it is not the exclusive domain of women either.

But I have to agree on the cellphone issue. I wish that people would use their cell phones for imparting important communications briefly, and out of earshot of me.

Thanks for the Laughs!

Keep them coming, can't get enough!

What gets my goat is drivers/riders who are in such as rush to overtake you, only to arrive at their destination one car/bike ahead of you!

ALSO people who overtake you only to turn into the next gate or road!



I love your articles. Here are a couple of ideas; these are things that really irritate me.

1) drivers who view the yellow line as a suggestion. Even if they are coming around a bend over the line and partially on your side of the road, they don't bother to pull over into their lane. It's like the expect you to swerve and make way for them. Oh, and then there is the compulsion to pass on a blind corner.

2) tailgating. It's like people are trying to see just how close they can get even if I'm doing 45-50 kph. In some cases, they're so close you can't see their headlights. I watched one woman behind me who had things in her hands while she was driving - a drink for one - and she was so close I could clearly see the straw. Then there are the motorbikes..... they are so close there is no way they could stop if I had to brake suddenly. It is extremely difficult to have a relaxing drive when someone is on your tail.

Hello GrumpyOldMan, I unfortunately do not own a Lamborghini or Bugatti :-(, so I must use the Pearly Pink and Blue limousines. Lovely transportation really, until a foreigner sits in front of me along with one of their foreign colleagues/friends/relatives or whatever and starts talking to each other in some foreign language as loud as can be for the ENTIRE bus ride. Now I am born and raised here in this ENGLISH speaking country and it irritates the life out of me when people do this - it is so rude. Further more, its 100x worse when they do it on a cell phone. What gives. It should be illegal or something to talk in a foreign language consistantly within enclosed public spaces. I mean really. At some point, someone will tell them to plain and simply to just SHUTUP. Arrgh!

Thanks for this outlet.

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Published February 27, 2012 at 5:00 am (Updated February 26, 2012 at 7:29 pm)

The Talker, The Bag Rustler and The Baby Bringer

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