visiting Bostonian counsellors.

Rev. Dr. Raymond Hammond, Dr. Gloria Hammond and Ms Talaya Freeman are holding counselling workshops for both couples and singles at Clear View guest house in Hamilton Parish.

The Hammonds are both qualified doctors who nearly suffered their own marital break up several years ago.

This was what stirred them to try to help others make their relationships work, they said.

The Hammonds used a medical analogy to describe the state of marriage in the Western world: "The patient is in critical condition, but shows signs of recovery.'' They said they believed modern young people are beginning to react against the instability of marriage and society because values start disintegrating when families are broken up.

Bermuda's divorce rate is nearly 50 percent.

Dr. Gloria Hammond said couples once had to work harder at staying together to avoid the social stigma of being divorced.

"The pressure to stay together made working matters out a better alternative to divorce or separation,'' she explained.

Rev. Hammond added, "You hear a lot about rights these days, but not much about a person's responsibility to others.'' The Hammonds said there were three major marital stresses: Lack of communication, Financial difficulties, and Sex.

Of the three, they said they target lack of communication first when counselling.

They try to get both people to truly understand each other's point of view and react more constructively.

The couple is urged to try to relate on three levels, physically -- not necessarily sexually -- mentally and spiritually. The last is the best hope if the marriage is failing in the other two ways, Dr. Hammond pointed out.

But they agreed, communication is the crux of a successful marriage. Although Bermuda's divorce rate is about the same as the United States', Rev. Hammond said the same rules cannot be applied to Bermudian relationships because of the different way of life here.

They said they could not lecture Bermudian couples, but rather try to understand the different pressures of the society and to offer advice based on that understanding.

Ms Talaya Freeman will be talking with single people about the problems they encounter.

She said she wanted to make unmarried people understand that "single people are whole.

"If they can't find and have that while they're single, they can't effectively form half of a relationship,'' she said.

Ms Freeman said that the "couple orientation'' of society -- such as even numbers of men and women being invited to dinner parties -- makes single people insecure.

The workshop is being held over the weekend. The counsellors' work began on Thursday night with sessions for couples. Yesterday was for singles and today and tomorrow is for both couples and singles.