"It's like a loss in the family.'' That is how MJ Tumbridge's sister, Irene Mello, put it yesterday when asked about the death of the Olympic rider's horse, Bermuda's Gold in Sydney following a freak accident on the cross-country course.

"That horse meant everything to her. We heard from her about 11 p.m. on Wednesday night. My mom and myself were on the phone all night with her -- we didn't get any sleep,'' said Mrs. Mello.

The Olympian's sister said that she and her mom couldn't go to the Sydney Olympics.

But she was thankful that Ms Tumbridge's close friends, Patrick and Amanda Rolfe (coach and groom respectively) were there as part of her team.

Ms Tumbridge, who won Bermuda's first and only gold medal at last year's Pan American Games in Winnipeg, Canada, has been training on the Rolfes' farm in England for a number of years.

"They are like a second family to her -- I am just so thankful they were there when it happened,'' said Mrs. Mello who added: "MJ loved that horse like nothing else. Although people here think she fell, she didn't. When she landed after the jump she heard the bone crack and immediately jumped off. To her, that horse's health came first above everything. It was just a freak accident. At first they tried to save the mare because she could become a brood mare but after a couple of hours they (the vets) realised they had to put her asleep. It is just so sad. She loves that mare like a baby -- she's trained her up from scratch.'' Ms Tumbridge bought Bermuda's Gold in Maryland in 1994 when the mare was a raw eight-year-old. While Bermuda's Gold had done a few hunter/jumper competitions, it had never evented. "I trained her and at first she wasn't that good,'' said Ms Tumbridge recently. But after one season the 35-year-old Bermudian had the mare competing like a champion. Since then Ms Tumbridge and Bermuda's Gold have competed in numerous top competitions including the World Championships in Rome and the Badminton Horse Trials -- arguable the toughest of any competition.

Mrs. Mello said yesterday that what made matters even worse was the fact that Ms Tumbridge's first horse, Bermuda's Option, had to be put down just after Christmas this year after becoming very sick.

"First that and now this,'' said Mrs. Mello. "She fought so hard to make this dream (riding and perhaps winning the Olympics) a reality. People do not realise how much she worked to get to Sydney.'' And now what is the future for Tumbridge? Mrs. Mello said: "MJ is tough -- although this will stay with her for all her life, but life goes on. I know that sounds cold but ... she will pick herself back up and get going when she gets back to England. Although any other horse she rides will not be the same as the mare, she will carry on. She is a very talented girl.'' Bermuda Equestrian Association President Mike Cherry yesterday called the loss of Bermuda's Gold a "tragedy'' and highlighted the close bond between a rider and a competition horse.

"This is a real tragedy, we had high hopes for MJ and for Bermuda's Gold to do well,'' Mr. Cherry said. "They had got off to a reasonably good start and they were both full of confidence and enthusiasm.'' Mr. Cherry explained the bond between Ms Tumbridge and Bermuda's Gold was "special'', citing the fact that she does not have all of the resources other competitors have.

He added: "She also brought it from an inexperienced horse to one capable of competing in the Olympics. To take a horse to this level you have to keep it 365 days a year. During that time you become attached to a horse.'' When asked about the decision not to fund Ms Tumbridge for a second back-up horse, Mr. Cherry, a former chef de mission for Bermuda at equestrian events, said: "That wouldn't have had an effect at all.

"The horse rider and the horse must stay together throughout the competition,'' he explained. "It isn't possible to change. It's against the rules. It's a three-day event and you have to keep the same horse throughout.

`Heartfelt regrets' sent to MJ Mr. Cherry concluded: "We do have a message for MJ that we are sending.

"But on behalf of the entire equestrian community I would like to extend our sincere and heartfelt regrets to her. A lot of us have been in this situation and we know how she feels.'' Judy Baum of Spicelands Riding Centre said she was "concerned'' for Ms Tumbridge and is sure both she and her family are "devastated'' by the turn of events.

"MJ and her family have my deepest sympathy,'' Ms Baum said. "She was doing very well. She was 21st and was going over the second jump.

"We were all hoping for great things over there after she and Bermuda's Gold did such a fabulous job at the Pan Am Games,'' she added. "But it has ended in this tragedy.'' Equestrian instructor Dawn Fox said she was deeply concerned for Ms Tumbridge and said horse riders throughout the Island had been talking about Bermuda's Gold's loss.

"Everybody I've spoken to today has been talking about it,'' she said. "We are all very concerned with how she must be feeling and what she must be going through.

"It's a special horse that would go cross-country and trust a rider to make those jumps. The level she is at is one where a person has to put complete trust in the horse.

"No, I don't think it's impossible that she could get to that level again.

She's obviously a very brave lady and has obviously worked very hard to get to Sydney.'' Heartache: MJ Tumbridge is consoled on the cross-country coruse. Far left is chef de Mission Phil Guishard; in the cente hygging Mj is groom Amanad Rolfe.

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