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Don’t complain, wear a purple bracelet

Helping hand: US priest Will Bowen with the bracelets worn by people to remind them to stop complaining (Photograph by Dick Whipple/AP)

Early on Christmas morning I found under our tree, a small, cute box from my 11-year-old stepdaughter, Ava. My husband told me that she insisted on buying me this particular gift. I opened it and froze for a moment. I could not believe that this beautiful little girl intuitively knew my longstanding desire, one which I had never told anyone.

Inside was a black thread bracelet with an attached silver plate engraved with the words, “Be the best version of yourself”. I immediately understood that my New Year’s resolution was right in my hands.

A year ago, I learnt about a simple but unique idea. In 2006, the American priest, Will Bowen, in his book A Complaint Free World offered to anyone who seeks to change their lives for the better, a challenge: put on a purple bracelet for 21 days.

During this period a person must completely abandon negativity in their thoughts, words and actions. Three weeks without complaint, resentment, criticism and gossip.

If, at any time, one says or thinks something negative, you take the bracelet off and put it on the other wrist. Then you must start a new 21-day countdown: 21 more days in a row without negativity. As Bowen said: “You can’t complain your way to health, happiness and success.”

The idea came to him after he noticed that all his parishioners complained about the same problems. Listening to them, he observed that people’s thoughts are mainly concentrated on the negative, which affects emotions, and then actions.

People endlessly complain, gossip and criticise. “What if we consciously refuse complaints, whining, dissatisfaction with oneself and others?” he wondered.

The idea of the purple bracelet without complaint was born.

His bracelet raced around the world. More than 11 million people in more than 106 countries accepted the 21-day complaint-free challenge.

I was going to buy the purple bracelet to test myself and to change my way of thinking, but seemed to never get around to it. When I saw my gift bracelet with such motivational and important words to me, I decided that it does not matter what colour it is, and what material it is made from. What is important is the idea.

Will I be able to live 21 days without complaining, gossiping or criticising? Is it possible to track and control all of my negative words and thoughts, and substitute them with positive observation? Will I be able to build the habit of positive thinking? How much time do I need to accomplish this? Bowen admitted that it took him three months to leave the purple bracelet for 21 days in a row on the same hand.

I remember a friend of my daughter, named Jenny, with whom she shared a room at her university. My daughter told me that after a while she noticed that Jenny never spoke badly about other people. She never gossiped or criticised. “Never ever?” with a huge grain of salt, I asked again. “Never!” answered Maria.

“It is absolutely impossible,” I thought. “Everyone gossips.” It turned out that Jenny’s father was a diplomat and taught her from a very young age one very important rule: “Always think about what you say. Imagine that your words will be on the front pages of newspapers. How would people react after reading something negative or bad you have said about them?” Gradually, this fine habit of not criticising became a part of her nature.

A new year is a time of hope for the future. Our future is the result of our thinking today. And fine habits can start with something as simple as a bracelet.

Happy New Year, dear readers! Create your own bright future in 2017.

Nina London is a certified wellness and weight-management coach. Her mission is to support and inspire mature women to make positive changes in their body and mind. Share your inspirational stories with her here: www.ninalondon.com